Being honest is not always easy. But being honest with yourself, well that can be even harder! Lately I have been reflecting on my life this past year and the decisions I have made: both good and bad. Of course, I make mistakes and I have regrets, but is there an easy way to forget about it and move on? It doesn’t feel like it right now, but I know with time it will be easier.
As we all sit at home, in hopes to flatten the curve, I have noticed this disruption to my routine has surfaced emotions I have withheld for months. Taking care of our mental health now is essential. The additional uncertainty and stress of this global outbreak has made me reflect and I have asked myself a question: do I want to go back to the normalcy I had before the pandemic or do I want to make a positive change in the right direction? Was my life even in the right direction before? This has made me take a deep look inward and be honest with myself.
I have been struggling with this time at home—and that’s ok. Around the world is currently in this state too. This is an unprecedented time for us all and it’s ok to not be ok. I have found this time to not just be physically challenging, but emotionally.
I have been on a long emotional journey since the end of 2018, with significant events in my personal life to my accutane journey, I am finally sitting with it all, here in April 2020. I question some of my decisions, and even regret some of them. But, I have realized I needed to make these mistakes to grow, to become more aware, to become the person I am supposed to be.
Through our experiences we are able to learn and figure out who we are and what’s important to us. Although I may cringe at the thought of some (alright a lot) of my past experiences, I know I had to have them in order to realize what I now know.
So if you are also reflecting, cringing, and realizing, you’re not alone. We’re human. We’re given the beauty of life; yet, what is life without learning through living?